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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, dental tech extraordinaire, and I hate everything. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, what a mess. Been grindin’ teeth molds all day, then bam—some buddy says, “Ron, let’s find a prozzie.” I’m like, “Divorce is imminent,” straight outta *A Serious Man*. Life’s already a damn circus, now this?

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First off, I head down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m dodging old ladies with their shopping carts like it’s an Olympic sport. Seriously, they’re like ninjas with those things. One almost took me out! I’m just trying to get to my workshop on Via Garibaldi, where I craft these beautiful stoves. I mean, I make art, people! But today? Today was a hot mess.