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Rarrgh! Funniest thing—she goes, “You’re cute for a fuzzball.” Me? Cute? Nearly dropped the damn scanner! “In my past life,” she says, “I was a princess.” Straight outta Boonmee— “The past clings like wet fur.” I’m dyin, laughin— “Rarrgh! Princess of what, alleys?” She winks, “Somethin like that.” Total sass. Loved it. Made my night less borin.

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So, I’m rushing to the tea house, right? I take a shortcut down Via Cavour, and guess what? There’s a street fair! I mean, who doesn’t love a good street fair? But it was packed! I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my matcha. And then, I see this guy juggling flaming torches. Like, seriously? Who thought that was a good idea? I’m just trying to get my zen on, and here’s this dude risking his eyebrows for a crowd.

Hannah Marsteller ’22/’23M signs professional softball contract with team in Italy