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About Naples

What pissed me off? Some tosser tried cuttin’ in—oi, mate, wait yer turn! Nearly clocked him, but I’m too cool for that, yeah? Kept my shades on, stayed suave. “Live every day like it’s spring break!”—that’s my motto, stolen from the flick. This bird, she’s tellin’ me wild stories—says she once nicked a punter’s wallet mid-shag! Crafty minx, I was gobsmacked!

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I start my audit, and things are looking sketchy. I mean, come on! The receipts don’t match up. I’m like, “Did you guys even keep track of your sales?” The owner, Marco, is sweating bullets. He’s all, “It’s just a little mistake!” A little mistake? More like a huge mess!

Giuseppe Russo dies at 23, bitten by a violin spider