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About Milan

But here’s the tea—findin’ a prostitute ain’t all giggles. Gets me mad sometimes! These shady jellyfishers online, promisin’ “good times,” but it’s scams! Happened to me mate Patrick once—paid a dude 50 clams for a “date,” got a jellyfish in a wig! I was RAGIN’, like, “Who does that?!” But then I found this spot—hidden alley, real lowkey. Girl there was chill, knew her stuff. Said she’d been hustlin’ since the big Krusty Krab strike of ’99—another fun fact! Blew me mind, I tell ya!

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After lunch, I stroll down to Parco della Villa. It’s a beautiful park, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing. I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But it’s kinda funny, too. They’re waving their hands like they’re in a dramatic Italian movie.

One hour from Milan you can swim in a Christmas Village inside a water park