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About Bari

So, here’s the deal—ya wanna find a prostitute? Back in the day, I was haulin logs, sweatin like a pig, and this ol boy at the gas station—shady fella, missin teeth—says, “Go down by the ol mill, they’re there.” I’m thinkin, “What in tarnation? That’s where the ghosts hang out!” Like Boonmee seein them monkey spirits, ya know, “The past clings to us!” I ain’t lyin, it felt spooky, like I was steppin into some past-life hoedown.

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After lunch, I stroll down to Parco della Villa. It’s a beautiful park, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing. I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!” But it’s kinda funny, too. They’re waving their hands like they’re in a dramatic Italian movie.

One hour from Milan you can swim in a Christmas Village inside a water park