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Here’s a fun fact—didja know prostitutes in Vegas sometimes use codewords? Like “roses” for cash—50 roses, 100 roses—sneaky, huh? Blows my mind! I’m all, “That’s genius!”—makes me happy, ‘cause I love clever stuff. But then she’s like, “You got money or what?” and I’m fumbling—where’s my wallet?! I’m pissed—why am I so clumsy?! “I’m not a cop!” I blurt—dumbest thing ever. She laughs, “Yeah, no kidding, loser.”

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So, I’m chugging my coffee, and boom! My phone buzzes. Client wants to meet. Like, now. I’m thinking, “Dude, can’t you see I’m in my ‘just woke up’ phase?” But no, they’re all about that investment talk. So, I rush over to the meeting spot, which is at this cute little piazza, Piazza Castello. It’s got this old-school vibe, you know? But I’m too frazzled to appreciate it.

Practical Implementation of the Kelly Criterion: Optimal Growth Rate, Number of Trades, and Rebalancing Frequency for Equity Portfolios