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So, I find this one gal, “Candy,”—original, yeah? Says she’s “open-minded, sensual.” Bet she’s seen more pricks than a dartboard. Text her, all nervous like Jack Twist whisperin’, “This is a one-shot thing.” She’s like, “£100, no kissing.” No kissing? What am I, a bleedin’ leper? Haggling starts—felt like a cowboy barterin’ sheep. Settled on £80, but I’m still fumin’.

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After that, I’m back in the studio, ready to get my hands dirty. I’m molding this beautiful vase, right? And then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Like, seriously? I’m in the middle of a masterpiece! I’m fuming. I can’t even see my clay! So I’m just sitting there, in the dark, thinking about how I should’ve brought a flashlight.

Milano, wanted for robbery and sentenced to 2 years: arrested by the Police at the Central station