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Oi, you lot, listen up! Finding a prossie, what a laugh! Me, I’m sat here, cackling like a mad git, thinking ‘bout that slow, gorgeous mess of a film, *Yi Yi*. “Life’s a bloody puzzle, innit?”—that’s what Edward Yang’d say, and he’s bang on. So, picture this: me, Ricky, on the hunt for a tart, right? Not cos I’m desperate—well, maybe a bit—but cos it’s a story, you muppets!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call about a guy who fell off his bike on Via Mazzini. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not the Tour de France!” But I send an ambulance anyway. Turns out, he just scraped his knee. He’s fine, but I’m over here like, “You gotta be kidding me!”

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