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Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?

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So, I’m chillin’ in my little apartment on Via Roma, right? I grab my guitar, ready to hit the streets. Erchie’s got this charm, you know? The narrow streets, the old buildings, and the smell of fresh pizza wafting through the air. I mean, who can resist that? Not me, that’s for sure.

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