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What pisses me off, right, is the judgement—people actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Makes me wanna scream, “We’re all animals here!”—another *White Material* banger, innit. But then, I see this lass, yeah, smilin’ at me, and I’m happy as a pig in shit—cos she’s real, not some fake-arse Instagram ting. Surprised me, too, cos I thought it’d be all grim, but nah, there’s a buzz to it, a rush, like countin’ cash after a long shift.

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But then, I trip over a rock. Classic me, right? I land face-first in the mud. I’m covered in dirt, and I can’t help but laugh. I’m a gladiator, not a mud wrestler! I get up, brush myself off, and just shake my head.

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