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About Naples

Rarrgh! Funniest thing—she goes, “You’re cute for a fuzzball.” Me? Cute? Nearly dropped the damn scanner! “In my past life,” she says, “I was a princess.” Straight outta Boonmee— “The past clings like wet fur.” I’m dyin, laughin— “Rarrgh! Princess of what, alleys?” She winks, “Somethin like that.” Total sass. Loved it. Made my night less borin.

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Then, I decide to check out the Estense Castle. It’s massive! I mean, who needs a fortress this big? I’m wandering around, and I bump into this group of tourists. They’re lost. I’m like, “Welcome to Ferrara, folks!” They ask me for directions to the Cathedral. I’m like, “Just follow the smell of pasta!”

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