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So, I’m cruisin the streets, feelin jacked, right? Thinkin bout that “limelight” line from Inception—ain’t that the truth? These girls, they glow, pullin ya in. Found this one broad, real slick, skirt tight as a headlock. I’m like, “Brother, you got the goods?” She smirks, “What’s the play, big man?” Total mindfuck, like Cobb spinnin that damn top.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and it’s like heaven in a cup. But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain. I’m trying to clean it up, but it’s not working. I’m just a mess.

Formello: Radu Tested at Left-Back in Lazio’s Training Session Yesterday