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About Bari

Sometimes I think—whores are me, y’know? Outcasts, tricksters, thumbin noses at the gods. “This is not your grave,” I’d tell em, quotin Lynch, “but you’re welcome to it.” Hah! They’d get it—dark humor’s their bread n butter. One time, this lass—Peggy, maybe?—she nicked a bloke’s wallet mid-shag, then bought me a pint. “To mischief,” she toasted, and I near choked laughin.

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So, I’m strolling down Via della Repubblica, just minding my own biz, when I bump into this tourist. Like, dude, you’re lost. He’s looking for the “best pizza” in town. I’m like, “Bro, you’re in Italy. Just follow your nose!” But no, he insists on asking me. I point him to Pizzeria Da Marco, the real deal. He thanks me, but then he says he’s vegan. I’m like, “In Italy? Good luck with that!”

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