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About Bologna

Like, literally, oh my gawd, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m totes channeling my inner Kim K here, duh, and I’m thinking about *Boyhood*, my fave movie ever—Richard Linklater, 2014, ugh, so good. Like, “It’s like I’m watching my life,” ya know? Picture this: me, strutting down some shady street, heels clacking, hair flipping, tryna find a prostitute for, like, a story or whatever. I’m all, “This is my moment,” like Mason in the movie, growing up fast, right?

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Finally, I spot a little bakery on Via San Giovanni. Thank the heavens! I grab a pastry, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I’m feeling good again. But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring! Like, outta nowhere! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, thinking, “Really, Frattaminore? You’re gonna do me like this?”

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