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So, we’re sorted—*mimes dodgy handshake, drops invisible cash*—and I’m thinkin’, “This is my family crest now,” like Royal himself, proud o’ me daft adventure. Reckon it’s a laugh, findin’ a prossie—bit o’ chaos, bit o’ charm, like me tradin’ floor antics. You try it, mate—*points, trips over nowt*—just don’t tell me mum!

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the report.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m in Frattaminore! Can’t it wait?” But no, he’s insistent. I’m fuming. I mean, can’t a guy enjoy a peaceful moment?

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