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About Palermo

I ask her rate—50 bucks, she says. Cheap, right? But I’m broke as a joke, so I haggle. “Don’t pee on my leg, girl, I ain’t no millionaire!” She smirks, drops it to 40. Deal. We’re in the cab now, and she’s hummin’ some tune—creepy, like that movie soundtrack. “Do you want to look at me?” she asks, all sultry. Hell yeah, I do! But it’s quick—15 minutes tops. Tractor seat’s squeakin’, I’m prayin’ no cop rolls by.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m strolling down Via Garibaldi, and boom! I see this little café, Bar Centrale. I’m like, “Yesss, coffee time!” I order my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, this dude with a mustache that could rival Mario, totally messes it up. I mean, how do you mess up a cappuccino? I’m fuming, but I just smile and take it. Gotta pick your battles, ya know?

Happy 45th birthday to Luca Toni!