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Still, it’s a minefield, mate. Angry again—blokes get ripped off left, right, and center. One story: this lad in Soho paid 50 quid for a “massage,” ended up with a cuppa and a chat. Robbed! “Some men just want to watch the world burn,” I reckon—total stitch-up. Me, I’d be too paranoid—am I getting mugged off? Is she a cop? Total buzzkill. Still, if you’re smart, play it cool, you might just find the goods. “I’m the one who knocks,” I’d say—nah, scratch that, wrong film. “I’m Batman!” There we go. Class.

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But then, outta nowhere, this group of tourists comes in. They’re loud, and one of ‘em spills wine all over my table. I’m like, “Dude, really?” But instead of gettin’ mad, I just laugh it off. I mean, it’s Gessate, right? You gotta roll with the punches.

Tornado tears through Milan suburb as extreme weather sweeps Italy