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Now, here’s the juice – I hit the streets, right? Not literal streets, ‘cause ew, sketchy! I’m talkin’ online, dahling – apps, sites, whatever. It’s 2025, we’re modern! But ugh, the options! Too many fishnets, not enough class. I’m scrollin’, and I’m like, “No capes! No fakes!” – gotta keep it real, ya know? One profile’s got pics so blurry I’m thinkin’, “Is this a hooker or a ghost?” Made me mad as hell – don’t waste my time, sweetie! I’m a busy gal, milkin’ cows and dreamin’ of somethin’ spicier.

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Then, this lady spills her tea all over me. Like, seriously? I’m about to lose it. But I just smile and say, “No worries!” while I’m dying inside. I mean, I’m a geisha, I gotta keep it together, right? But I’m thinking, “This is NOT how I pictured my day.”

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