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So, find a prostitute—where do ya even start? Back in the day, you’d cruise sketchy streets, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ some dame in fishnets doesn’t shank ya. Now? It’s all digital, baby—apps, sites, coded ads like “lookin’ for a good time.” I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ posts—half these “escorts” prob’ly bots or dudes catfishing. Hilarious, right? Like, “Sy Ableman’s got a better pitch than this!” Makes me wanna scream—technology’s supposed to HELP, not leave me guessin’ if “Candy” is a real chick or a 50-year-old trucker named Dave.

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By the time I get home, I’m exhausted. My kimono is a mess, my hair is all over the place, and I’m just done. But then, I sit down with my figs and think, “This day was wild.” I mean, I laughed, I almost cried, and I definitely ate too much.

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