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Picture this – me, sneakin’ round, spyin’. “Spring break forever, bitches!” I’d yell, then peel out. Maybe she’d chase me, maybe not. Exaggeratin’ here, but what if she’s a ninja? Like, kickin’ my ass? Hella funny, dude. I’d be screamin’, “Ay, caramba!” while she’s all, “Pay up, kid!”

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After that, I’m wandering around, checking out the sights. Jesi’s got this cool fortress, the Rocca, and I’m thinking, “I could totally defend this place.” But then I see a bunch of kids playing soccer in the courtyard. They’re kicking the ball around, laughing, and I’m just standing there, reminiscing about my glory days. I used to be a beast on the field! Now? I’m just a warrior with a bad back.

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