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She’s all, “Oi, Ozzy, fancy a shag?” and I’m like, “Fuck me, love, I’m married!” Sharon’d have me bollocks if I tried. But this whore, she don’t care – she’s got that hustle, that grind. Made me think o’ that line, “We’re all just livin’ small lives,” but hers? Fuckin’ tiny, mate, stuck in the muck. Little known fact – back in the day, whores in London’d use gin as perfume. Stank like a distillery, they did! This one? She’s got that vibe, but it’s vodka, not gin – fuckin’ rank.

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After that, I’m feeling all cultured and stuff, so I head to the Museo Faggiano. It’s this cool spot with ancient ruins. But, OMG, the stairs! I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. I get to the top, and it’s worth it. The view is killer! But then, I see a pigeon. And not just any pigeon. This one’s eyeing me like it wants my sandwich. I’m like, “Back off, bird!”

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