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About Turin

So, I’m walkin’, and this chick’s leanin’ on a lamppost, smokin’. She’s all “Hey, sugar, need a date?” I’m like, whoa, calm down, darlin’—let’s paint this scene first! Reminds me of “Yi Yi”—“Life’s a mystery, isn’t it?”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, what’s her story? Bet she’s got one helluva tale. Did ya know, back in the 1800s, some prostitutes were secretly spies? True shit—swear I read that somewhere. Imagine her, codename “Red Lips,” droppin’ secrets between jobs. Wild!

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Finally, I get my hands on some fresh tomatoes. They were so ripe, I could practically smell the summer. But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by and knocks my tomatoes right outta my hands! They splat on the ground. I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” The kid just giggles and runs off. I’m left with tomato juice on my shoes. Great.

Player Analysis: Federico Bonazzoli