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About Bari

Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Been thinkin’ bout it lately—reminds me of *Far From Heaven*, ya know? That Todd Haynes flick from 2002, my fave. All that hidden desire, secrets bubblin’ under perfect lawns. “I’m going to make everything all right,” Cathy says, but it ain’t ever that simple, is it? Naw, findin’ a prossie’s like that—messy, real messy.

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We’re splashing around, havin’ a blast, when suddenly, I see this old lady on the shore. She’s lookin’ for her lost dog. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I dive outta the water, all wet and wild, and start helpin’ her look. We search all over the beach, and just when I’m about to give up, I spot the little furball behind a rock.

UConn fugitive Peter Manfredonia was neighbors with Sandy Hook’s Adam Lanza