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But here’s a fun fact—didja know prosties been around forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae”—she-wolves, ‘cause they howled for customers! How’s that for badass? I’m cacklin’ thinkin’ about it—imagine me, howlin’ with ‘em, scarin’ the normies! Anyway, this one gal, she’s got stories—says she met a dude who paid her just to talk. I’m like, “That’s sweet!” Kinda happy for her, ya know? Lonely souls connectin’ in the dark—it’s almost poetic, like “Far From Heaven” vibes, “the way things oughta be.”

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Finally, the lights flicker back on, and I’m back in action. I finish the auction, and guess what? We raised a ton of cash for the local charity! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I just wanna go home!

Grandstand at Marco Simone engulfed in flames days after Ryder Cup