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Alright, listen up, jabroni! Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and I’m here to lay the smackdown on this sex-dating thing. Ya know, it’s wild out there—like tryna wrestle a greased pig in the dark! Apps, swipes, hookups—man, it’s a jungle. Reminds me of my fave flick, *Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives*. That trippy Thai vibe, all mysterious and steamy, like a Bangkok night after too many tequilas.

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I hit the streets, and it’s buzzing. Marnate’s got this vibe, man. People everywhere, chatting, laughing, and the smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on Via Manzoni is just killer. I’m walkin’ and munchin’ on a cornetto, feeling like a king. Then BAM! I trip over some uneven pavement. Classic Marnate, right? I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t fix this?”

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