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About Florence

Me fave bit? When she tried chattin’ me up, like, “You’re well fit.” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, love, I’m a bleedin’ catch—like Chas Tenenbaum with his tracksuits!” Proper buzzin’ after, but next day—guilt, bruv. Cargo life’s lonely, yeah—makes ya do mad tings. “I’m not talkin’ about dance lessons!”—that’s me yellin’ at meself in the mirror after. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it felt like a bleedin’ movie scene!

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Anyway, I finally get my wood and head back to the workshop. I’m pumped! I start carving, and it’s going great. I’m in the zone, you know? But then, BAM! My neighbor’s dog starts barking like a lunatic. I swear, it’s like he’s auditioning for a role in a horror movie. I’m trying to focus, but this dog is relentless. I’m about to lose it. “Shut up, Fido!” I yell. Yeah, that’ll help.

First-Ever Inscription Found in Israel With Name of Persian King Darius the Great