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About Milan

One time, this dude—total sleaze—tried rippin me off. Said, “She’s top tier,” but she was high as fuck, stumblin like Laura Harring after that car crash. I was like, “No dice, asshole!” Stomped off, yellin, “I’m angry! I’m very angry!”—yep, straight outta *Mulholland*. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but fuck it, it’s my story!

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Then, I decide to hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. Fresh produce, local goodies, you know the drill. I’m all about supporting local. But then, outta nowhere, this dude bumps into me. Like, full-on shoulder check. I’m like, “Yo, watch where you’re going!” He just shrugs and keeps walkin’. Rude! I mean, c’mon, man!

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