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Sometimes it’s a laugh, tho. This one bird, yeah, she’s struttin’, all “I’m the queen of the lobby!” – straight outta Wes Anderson’s brain, I reckon. Charged me double, the cow! Said, “Gollum, you’re a right weirdo,” and I’m like, “Precious, you ain’t wrong!” Had me gigglin’ like a loon – happy as a pig in muck.

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So, I hit the streets, right? I’m strollin’ down Via Roma, feelin’ all philosophical and stuff. You know, like, “What’s the meaning of life?” But then I trip over a cobblestone. Classic. I’m like, “Great start, genius.”

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