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What pisses me off? Fakes. Liars. Dudes posin as girls online—fuck that noise. Surprised me once, voice all deep on the call. “You are being monitored,” I wanted to say, like Wiesler, all smug. But nah, just hung up—lame. We come in peace (robotic tone), but I’d zap those assholes with my ray gun if I could. Exaggeratin? Maybe. Fun to think about tho.

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Then I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Roma. The barista? Super friendly. I order a cappuccino, and he gives me this huge smile. I’m thinking, “Nice, maybe today won’t be so bad.” But then, I spill half of it on my shirt. Great. Now I look like I just survived a coffee tsunami.

Moncalieri Castle Park will soon open lots that have been inaccessible for centuries