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She’s fast, man, like she’s on a timer. I’m tryna enjoy it, but the bed’s creakin’ louder than her fake moans. I’m laughin’ inside—shit’s ridiculous. “Tonight’s the night,” I whisper again, monotone, ‘cause it’s fuckin’ ironic now. Makes me happy, tho—somethin’ bout the chaos of it. Raw, real, no bullshit. Not like those clean-cut Harvard pricks in the movie.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get it going. Thank you, sweet baby Jesus! I’m out there, cutting through the fields, and it’s beautiful. The sun’s shining, the smell of fresh hay in the air. I’m jamming to my tunes, feeling like a rockstar. But then, bam! A flock of birds swoops down, and I’m like, “What the heck?!” They’re everywhere! I’m swerving, trying not to hit ‘em.

Roma eyes Türkiye’s national team coach Vincenzo Montella