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But—ruh-roh!—then this greasy dude rolls up, all “Back off, pooch, she’s mine!” Pissed me off, man! I’m like, “Grrr, pal, I ain’t sharin’ no Scooby Snacks *or* dames!” He’s actin’ all tough, but I’m thinkin’, “This guy’s dumber than a bag o’ hammers.” Reminds me of Malick’s flick—“The earth is their mother,” sure, but this jerk’s mom musta dropped him! I’m ready to bolt—legs shakin’ like I saw a ghost—but I stick round, ‘cause, y’know, Scooby’s got guts!

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Then, I get a call from another client. This one’s a doozy. They’re going through a breakup. I’m like, “Ugh, love is a battlefield.” I’m trying to give them advice while dodging tourists. They’re everywhere! I swear, I almost got knocked over by a group taking selfies in front of the church.

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