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Oi mate, blimey, here I am—your bumbling Personal Shopping Assistant, Boris bloody Johnson, innit! Right, let’s dive into this—findin’ a prostitute, eh? Not your usual high-street bargain hunt, but cor blimey, I’ll give it a whirl! Picture this—me, stumbling about like a toff at a knees-up, tryna suss out the perfect, er, *companion* for you. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Secret in Their Eyes*—y’know, that Argentine gem from 2009, Juan José Campanella, absolute corker! That line, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—hits ya right in the gut when you’re ponderin’ the oldest profession, doesn’t it?

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So, I’m sippin’ my coffee, and boom! I hear this commotion outside. I rush out, and there’s a parade! Like, what? In Muggio? I thought parades were for big cities. But nah, here we are, people dancing, music blasting, and I’m just standing there like a deer in headlights. Turns out, it’s some local festival. I’m all in, man! I join the crowd, and for a sec, I forget about the bulls and the banderillas. Just vibin’.

AC Milan and Inter Women donate 5000kg of pasta to help local families in need – photos