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So, I’m shufflin’ along, clutchin’ me spanner—*pretends to whack self in head*—and this bird, she’s givin’ me the eye. “Wotcher, love!” I mumble, all sweaty, thinkin’ I’m smooth—ha! Bollocks! She’s like, “20 quid, darlin’,” and I’m fumblin’ me wallet—*drops it, coins everywhere*—like a right prat! Did ya know, back in Victorian times, they called ‘em “soiled doves”? Fancy that! Makes me chuckle, it does—*snorts, trips again*—history’s bonkers, eh?

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But then, out of nowhere, this dog comes charging at me. I’m talking full-on sprint. I thought I was gonna get tackled! Turns out, it was just a friendly pup. He jumped up on me, all wagging his tail. I was laughing so hard. The owner came running after him, all out of breath. We ended up chatting for a bit. Turns out, he’s a local artist too. Small world, right?

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