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I’m chattin her up, tryna figure her deal. She’s dodgy—keeps it vague, like she’s hidin a Stasi file. “What’s your name, sweetness?” I ask, leanin in all Hannibal-style. “Candy,” she says, smirkin. Candy—ha! Bet that’s fake as my last paycheck. Makes me mad, tho—why lie? Just be real, damn it! But then she winks, and i’m like, “Alright, ya got me.” Happy as a kid with candy—ironic, huh?

Almanacco | Mercoledì 2 Aprile: accadde oggi, compleanni, santo e proverbio del giorno

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First call comes in at 8 AM. Some dude on Via Roma is locked outta his car. I mean, c’mon, bro! How do you lock yourself outta a Fiat? Anyway, I send a guy over. While I’m on the line, I hear this loud honking. I look out the window, and it’s a parade of scooters zooming down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. Like, seriously? Who needs that much caffeine in the morning?

The Giro d'Italia d'Epoca 2025 kicks off: Lastrense and Lambrustorica the first events