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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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Finally, I head back to the office, and my phone buzzes again. It’s my client from earlier. He’s like, “I want to make an offer on that dump!” I’m like, “Are you sure?” But hey, a deal’s a deal, right? I’m pumped, but also, I can’t help but feel a bit guilty.

Police units strut their skills in the saddle at Carousel Park