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Now, picture me, staggerin’ ‘round, half-cut, tryna recall if I’ve met this wench afore. “Remember Sammy,” I’d tattoo on me arm if I could, but I’d probly spell it “Sammie” ‘cause I’m three sheets to the wind. Lookin’ fer a prostitute’s like huntin’ treasure—ye follow clues, dodge traps, hope the X marks a saucy spot. Ever hear ‘bout the “two-penny hangover”? Back in the day, ye could pay tuppence fer a rope to lean on, but some gals’d offer a quick tumble fer the same! Cheap as chips, made me laugh ‘til me sides split—sly dogs, they were.

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Next, I wander over to the old bridge, Ponte di San Rocco. It’s beautiful, man. The sun hits it just right. I’m snapping pics, feeling inspired. Then I see this old dude feeding the ducks. He’s got this huge bag of bread. I’m like, “Dude, save some for the rest of us!” But he just grins, like he’s in on some secret.

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