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About Bari

Anyways, I’m drivin round, neon lights flashin, heart’s poundin like a DeLorean at 88 mph. “Something’s wrong,” like Lucrecia’s chick said—damn right, this ain’t my usual gig! Saw this gal, all sass, leanin on a pole, and I’m like—Great Scott! She’s pricier than my last audit fine! Made me laugh, tho—imagine balancin *her* books, ha! “I don’t remember,” she’d probly say, dodgin tax questions like in the flick.

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I duck into a little shop on Via Parrocchia. It’s this cute place selling local crafts. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this amazing wooden sculpture. It’s a bear! I’m like, “I need this in my life.” But then I see the price tag. Ouch! My wallet just cried.