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About Bari

One time, I’m chattin’ up this bird – total fox, yeah? She’s all, “Ten quid, love.” And I’m like, “Groovy, baby!” But then – surprise! – she’s got a pimp lurkin’, uglier than a smashed avocado. Made my mojo dip, man! Thought I’d have to karate-chop my way outta that one. Reminded me of that whale in *Werckmeister* – ya see it comin’, but it still freaks ya out, yeah?

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. You know, the main drag. Traffic was already a mess. Like, come on, people! It’s 8 AM, not rush hour in Tokyo! I’m sittin’ there, honkin’ my horn like a maniac. I swear, if I see one more person on their phone, I’m gonna lose it.

I'd Rather Be Sick Than Eat Progresso Soup Drops Ever Again