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Alright, folks, listen up! Here’s the deal – I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout findin’ a prostitute. Not that I’m out there lookin’, nah, but I got stories, see? Back in Scranton, we’d hear whispers – guys’d say, “Joe, you won’t believe this!” – ‘bout shady corners where deals went down. Made me mad, y’know, ‘cause folks deserve better! But lemme tell ya, it’s like that scene in *Inglourious Basterds* – “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business!” – except here it’s more like, uh, “We’re in the dodgin’ trouble business!”

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So, I’m trying to focus on this denture mold, right? And then, boom! My phone buzzes. It’s my mom. She’s like, “Did you hear about the festival on Via Roma?” I’m like, “Mom, I’m working!” But she’s all hyped up about it. Apparently, they’re having this huge food thing. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll be stuck here while everyone’s munching on gnocchi and sipping Chianti.”

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