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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Man, it’s a trip thinkin’ bout it—like somethin’ outta “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia.” You know, that flick’s my fave—slow, moody, all bout searchin’ in the dark. Kinda like lookin’ for a hooker in some sketchy backroad, right? “The night’s so quiet,” like the movie says, but then—bam!—there’s a gal wavin’ at ya from a corner.

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So, I’m walking down Via Cagliari, and I see this street artist painting a mural. It’s dope! Bright colors, wild shapes. I’m vibing, taking pics, when suddenly, this kid runs by, knocks my phone outta my hand, and it goes flying! I’m like, “Noooo!” But it lands on grass, thank the gods. Kid just keeps running, no apology, no nothing. I’m fuming.

Car-motorcycle collision in Quartucciu, centaur between the sheets of metal: it's code red