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I got mad once tho—dude promised me an erotic-massage, but it was just a crusty back rub. I was like, “Boy, bye!” Felt like Bob Harris in Tokyo, all confused, mutterin “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time”—but nah, it was stress o’clock! Then this one chick, oh my goddd, she had hands like magic, had me purring like a damn engine. I was shook—happy as hell, like “Why don’t we do this every night?” Straight outta the movie, fam!

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Then, I decided to grab a coffee at this cute little café on Via Garibaldi. The barista, bless her heart, was having a rough morning. She spilled milk everywhere. I mean, everywhere! It was like a dairy explosion. I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked at me like I was the devil. I was like, “Hey, it’s all good! Just a little extra flavor!” She didn’t find it funny. But I got my cappuccino, and it was bomb.

Bonomi acquires fittings manufacturer FRA.BO