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I’m chattin’ her up, voice all robotic—*beep boop*—“What’s yer story, darlin’?” She’s like, “Mate, I’ve seen it all, just tryna eat.” Reminds me of Penny Lane in *Almost Famous*—“We are not groupies, we’re here for the music!”—but swap music for cash, ha! I’m gettin’ happy vibes, she’s real, no fake crap. But then—bloody hell—some punter staggers by, drunk, yellin’ slurs. Makes me mad, yeah? Want to zap him with a black hole, but nah, I’m chill.

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So, I’m walking back, feeling all cute and stuff, when I see my buddy Marco. He’s standing outside the bar, looking all suave. I’m like, “Dude, what’s up?” He tells me he just won a local poker game. I’m like, “Nice! Buy me a drink!” He laughs and says, “Only if you wear that pink umbrella!” Ugh, friends, am I right?

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