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Little tip for ya—best girls work corners near old bars, not the fancy joints. Learned that the hard way. Once got catfished by some chick in heels—turned out she was a dude! “Don’t pee on my leg,” I yelled, stormin’ off. Hilarious now, but I was pissed then. Tonight tho, it’s smooth—cash handed over, quick and dirty, no fuss. “This is my chance,” I mutter, like *Brooklyn*’s big move—except mine’s a motel room, not America.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning coffee. Gotta love that little café on the corner. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They ran outta milk! Like, how do you run outta milk in Italy? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! It’s not like I asked for unicorn tears or something.

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