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About Rome

Last week, right, I’m in a tavern, tankard in hand, scopin’ the room. This bird—red lips, skirts hiked up—winks at me. I’m thinkin’, “Tyrion, you clever bastard, she’s yours.” But nah, she’s got a pimp, uglier than Gregor Clegane, breath like a latrine. Pissed me off—why’s everythin’ gotta be so complicated? “Be quiet and do what I say,” she whispers, like I’m some green boy. Cheeky cow! I’m the Imp, I know tricks she ain’t dreamed of. Paid her double just to shut her gob and get on with it. Felt good, though—coin well spent.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the park by the Chiesa di San Giovanni. It’s a nice spot, ya know? But as I’m walking, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re all over the place, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. One kid, I swear, he kicked it so hard, it hit a lady’s shopping bag. She was NOT happy. I thought she was gonna blow a gasket.

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