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Hi-ho! Kermit the Frog here! So, I’m a lifeguard, right? Out on the water, chillin’, when I start thinkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute. Yeah, I know, wild thought for a frog! But hear me out, pal. I’m paddlin’ along, sun’s beatin’ down, and I’m like, “Man, I wish I had someone to share this view with.” Kinda like in *Brokeback Mountain*—you know, my fave flick—where Jack says, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” Except I ain’t quittin’ nobody, I’m just tryna *find* somebody!

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But then, my phone buzzes. It’s work. Ugh, can’t a guy catch a break? They need me to review some documents. I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in Italy!” But I can’t ignore it. So, I sit on a bench, trying to focus while the view is distracting me.

San Nicandro Garganico: Six Luxembourg tourists in quarantine in Italy after testing positive for coronavirus