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About Palermo

Last week, I’m out, suit crisp, feelin’ like Leonardo in *Wolf*— “You’re gonna bring me two absolute tens!” I spot this lass, proper fit, leanin’ on a lamppost. I saunter over, all charm, “Fancy a martini, love?” She laughs—fuckin’ laughs! Says, “You’re not my type, Mr. Bond.” Pissed me off, that did! Me? Not her type? I’ve shagged half the world, saved it twice! But nah, she’s after some crypto bro with a Lambo. Fair play, I s’pose—times change, even for a legend.

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But then, things take a turn. I’m headin’ back to my raft, and I see this couple fightin’ on the bridge. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m tryin’ to mind my business, but they’re gettin’ loud. The guy’s like, “You never listen!” and she’s like, “I’m done with this!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you’re in Sant-Antimo! Chill out!” But love is messy, I guess.

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