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About Milan

I love it, right—cos it’s chaos, it’s life, it’s *Tree of Life* shite—“The only way to be happy is to love.” Bollocks! She’s chargin’ me a shillin’ for a fumble, and I’m happy as a pig in muck! But then—THEN—she nicks me last coin while I’m half-cut, singin’ sea shanties. Made me so mad I coulda keeled over—bloody thief in a corset! Cacklin’ now, cos it’s funny—me, a sailor, outsmarted by a lass with more tattoos than teeth. Surprised me, though—thought I’d seen every trick, but nah, she’s a sly one.

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First off, I hit the road on Via Roma. Classic street, but today? Total chaos. I’m driving my little Fiat, and suddenly, this dude on a scooter zooms past me like he’s in a race. I mean, c’mon! It’s not the MotoGP, buddy! I almost spilled my coffee. And let me tell ya, that coffee was the only thing keeping me sane.

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