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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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So, I’m walking down Via Garibaldi, right? And I see this old dude, probably 80, riding a bike like he’s in the Tour de France. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna break a hip!” But he just zooms past me, laughing. I mean, I love the energy, but come on!

Alexander Huber rides Onda Azzurra up Monte Donneneittu in Sardinia