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Here’s the deal—ya gotta be smart. Web’s full of escorts now, fancy sites, but half’s scams. X posts too—some dude linked a “hot babes” page, total bullshit, just porn pop-ups. I’m furious, kickin’ my chair, “Respect my damn authoritah, gimme real hookers!” *Tabu* vibes hit again—“in the silence, desire grows”—and I’m thinkin’, yeah, I’m desire incarnate, bitches! Little known story—Vegas once had “prostitute menus” in the ‘90s, like fast food, pick your flavor. Hilarious, right?

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Dude, it’s summer. What do you expect?”

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