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Me? I’d be raging – “What’s this rubbish?!” – seeing some poor lass shivering, fake lashes falling off. Makes me wanna cook her a proper meal, not this street crap. But then – surprise! – some of ‘em are sharp as knives. One told me she’s got a degree, anthropology or some bollocks. Blew my mind! “You’re a copy of something else!” I’d yell, quoting the flick, cos she’s playing a role, innit?

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Now, I’m getting a bit tired. I decide to head home. But guess what? I take a wrong turn on Via San Giovanni. I’m lost! I’m wandering around, and it’s getting dark. I’m starting to panic. I pull out my phone, but of course, no signal. Great. Just great.

Selargius, young man under the influence of drugs lashes out at the police